Loss-Gain

I lost my sponsor this week. It feels like there is a giant hole in my life. But I realize, thanks to him that my perception, is flawed at this point. The fact is that everything is exactly the way is it supposed to be. This knowledge will move from my head to my heart soon and I will perceive that everything is as it should be. I miss him dearly but my job is to "trudge", to share the things he taught me with others... And I will...

God's Plan

For me to experience God's amazing grace, I have to accept God's Will. Sometimes I don't understand it, or like it, or even see the point of it. This is where faith must live. In the hours and minutes when my alcoholic mind wants me to feel self pity, wants to question everything that happens. If faith does not live here in this time then my magic magnifying mind will make it all about me. And it's not, it's really not. Faith today for me means that everything is as it should be today, regardless of how I "feel" or what I "think" about it. My "thoughts" and "feelings" are not to be trusted. My life has made that abundantly clear. Think I'll stay on board with the Creator today, so far His plan seems to work out so much better than mine...

Understanding

My experience is that understanding why things are the way they are, is way out of my pay grade. I can drive myself crazy (it's a short trip), with trying to understand. I don't understand a lot of things. But that is becoming more and more OK. Trust God, clean house, help others. For me trusting God is about no longer thinking I have to understand anything. I just have to take action, thereby enlarging and expanding my spiritual life. In this way I can truly come to believe that God has "got this"

Thinking

I think, that thinking often gets me in trouble... I think, to much introspection leads to giving my alcoholic brain the fuel it needs to just twist everything out of shape. I think, today I will think less, trust more, and above all just do what I am supposed to...

Thanks

Thanks God. What an absolutely cool day... Just did what I was supposed to and let you worry about everything else. I am tired, I will drift off to sleep soon, all the while knowing that everything is just how it is supposed to be... That is truly a miracle in my life... Thank you God.

New Year same life...

New year, same life, for once I am content with my life... Don't need a bunch of resolutions... Don't need to make any huge changes... Just need to keep Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny with the Creator of the Universe... Keep reading, praying, meditating, reaching out, clearing away the the wreckage of my past... Enjoy walking this path... Progress, not perfection...