Lost Another One...

Lost another one to this disease on Sunday. Suicide, he could not grasp this design for living. I need to remember just how truly blessed I really am. But for the Grace of God, there I am. Complaining over the sad state of the nation or this fellowship is not enough, attending a few "discussion" meetings and playing the AA big shot is not enough.

My God requires me to get in the trenches, to carry this message, to sit down one on one with another alcoholic. This is what is demanded of me.

If you want to talk about the absolute devastation of this disease, the crying children, the suffering families or a pain inside so great that you would rather end your life than keep living, I will listen.

If you want to experience the Solution, a Power greater than yourself and this disease, then I can show you how I found that. I won't tell you about my day, and I won't tell you war stories. What I will show you is how to have a personal relationship with a Power greater than yourself that will solve your problems.

Thank God when I got here, people had the courage and the fire in their belly to show me the Truth. To make me understand that I was saved from this disease for a purpose.

This is my truth as I understand it. The day I no longer want to carry this message, the day I think I have done enough, the day I think I can sit back and throw out one liners at a meeting and look important. That will be the day my usefulness will be done.

So please in the next meeting, let's talk about the insanity of alcoholism, let's talk about the Power of God, but let's not talk about our day, we may be killing the dude in the next chair...

Gratitude

We went to the noon meeting at our home group today. On the way out someone said lets cook out tonight. So everybody brought a little something and some guys in the group cooked it all up on the grill. We ate at 7:00 and then had our meeting at 8:00. The topic of the meeting was gratitude. And as I looked around that little room and listened to these people that I know so well share, I was very conscious of the Power of God in our little building and in the hearts of my dear friends. We were missing some of our clan. Some were sick, some out of town. Some have passed, but we have new members too. There are always people there, which for me means that God is always there. I am so grateful for our little AA group, out here in the middle of West Texas. For me it is a place of refuge, a place of hope, a place of recovery. Most of all a place of Power. 12 or 13 miracles sitting around those tables tonight. My life got saved in that little group, people are being saved there daily, saved from the insanity of alcoholism and addiction. We are going to take a vacation over the next couple of weeks. Going to San Francisco, but even in the midst of that beauty, in the midst of making new friends, a piece of my heart will be sitting in that chair and around those tables at my home group. I love this way of life. Thank you all for teaching me that all I have to do to touch the face of God, is look into another persons eyes.