When I start analyzing and interpreting the simple
instructions in our basic text, then I am really just back to trusting my brain
instead of God's power. That didn't work out to well for me. Our
text book is a set of written instructions on how to live and act. I
don't need to analyze it and I don’t need to interpret it, I just need to do
it. I can read the book everyday till I die, I can engage in great
debates, I can sit around with the older members and we can
intellectualize. That will not make me happy, joyous and free. And it
won’t treat my alcoholism.
Taking the actions, working the steps, helping others to
work the steps and get connected to God, that is what I am supposed to
do. That is where God wants me. This is what treats the selfishness and
self-centeredness of my disease. Around me hundreds of people are dying from
alcoholism, and I have the absolute arrogance to sit on my butt and debate what
Bill meant by this or that. How selfish and self-centered can I be.
I used to think I could use my knowledge to find God. I used to think I had to
go off by myself and be on the river to find God. In other words I
searched for spiritual experiences. Not anymore. Do I still like to get
by myself on the river absolutely. Is God there? Absolutely.
But the fact of the matter is my next spiritual experience,
the next big one will probably come when I am with someone, that I think won’t
ever get this deal, going through the steps, when I don’t feel good. When
I would rather be anyplace else. And then something will come flying out
of my mouth that I didn’t even know and then I will see it. That little
spark in his eyes. And I will end up experiencing the Power of God that
day.
People are dying all around me from this disease. Do I
sit and watch them and judge them while they slip away? Or do I reach out
of my comfort zone, do I take them by the hand and look them in the eye and
tell them the truth. Do I carry the mess or the clear message of
Hope. Do I worry about how that may make me look to others around me or
do I trust the 6th sense that I have been promised that is being
developed inside of me. Do I pat them on the butt and say keep coming
back? Or do I take the time to qualify them, to show them what it means
to be a diagnosed alcoholic. Do I proclaim truth or do I offer opinions?
Back in my sponsorship lineage there was a man named Dr.
Bob. He said keep it simple. He helped over 5000 alcoholics in 15
years. Someone told me tonight my goal should be to die sober.
SCREW THAT… My goal is to live happy joyous and free everyday… How do I do
that? By doing my best to take the actions described in our book. By
trying to help others for free and for fun. I didn’t get a personal
relationship with the Creator by studying about Him, or even by trying to
discover Him. I learned what little I know by working a spiritual program
of action… And I learn more everytime I open my heart to one of His
children, especially when I don’t want to.
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