Approaches

"When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved" the Big Book says on page 25.

That tells me if the problem has been solved within me, if I have recovered, I am to approach the newcomer and let them know there is a solution.  That is how I share hope.

Ebby approached Bill, Bill approached Dr. Bob, they both approached Bill D.  This is another area in which the "fellowship" has moved away from the "program".

We hear it in AA all the time, "we don't want to scare off the newcomer".  "I have never approached a newcomer and offered to sponsor them"  Really?  Why?  Is that because I have heard that and decided it is a good idea.  What does the literature say?

Page 89 You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals...

Page 90  His attention should be drawn to you as someone who has recovered...

Page 157 We are giving you a treatment for alcoholism...

It even tells us in the book this isn't always easy.  What if you are thinking to yourself "I am jittery and alone I cant do that" then read on page 163 it says what to do in that circumstance as well.

The bottom line for me is this.  I can't stand around the outside of an AA meeting chewing the fat with my buddies while a newcomer goes away without hearing about the hope.  I don't walk up to people and say I am going be your sponsor.  I walk up and try to find out where they are at.  What's going on with them.

If they are an alcoholic the conversation will take its course and I will simply ask them " do you want me to show you how to do this deal"  If they do then we get started if not I don't pressure.  But I have to share hope with them. That is why God saved me from this horrible plight.

I can't leave the most important decision of their life up to them when they don't even know what to ask.  I make it clear to these guys that they are not bound to me.  I am simply trying to show them how to get connected to a Power that will change their lives forever.  If they find someone else to do that then rock on.  Its not about having a bunch of sponsees, so I can brag.  It's about offering hope to as many people as I can on this earth before I'm not here any longer.

If you are having problems with this and want to talk about it call me.

Jerry

432-631-4283

Middle of the Road

If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle of the road solution...

That isn't what I say, that is what the big book says.  Yet we don't speak the truth for fear of being controversial.  Bill Wilson didn't want the book to controversial to the public.  You can bet if someone had walked into those early meetings spouting out the garbage that is said around a lot of the tables today, there would have been some controversy.

Bill Wilson and the first 100, also wrote in the big book in several locations that we must carry this message.  That our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.  That we must find God now.  That God is everything or He is nothing. That we are to ask the newcomer if he is ready to quit for good and is willing to go to any length. That we should be introduced to him as people who have recovered.

I have actually heard in a meeting that we have the AA traditions but we have our Texas traditions too.  What a bunch of BS.  You want to bring that kind of crap into an AA meeting.  Just keep coming back, it will get better.  No, it won't.  Work the steps and it will get better, get connected to the Creator, it will get better, help a drunk it will get a lot better.

Sit on our butt and ignore the newcomer and then when they die next week, we say they just didn't want it bad enough.  Maybe we just didn't want to be bothered to tell them the truth.  Maybe it was going to be too controversial.  Maybe we were scared of hurting their feelings.  and then maybe we were just wrapped up in the selfishness that is this disease talking about our damn Texas traditions with our old buddies and we just let them walk away and die...

Maybe we are so busy trying to win our little ego wars and prove who is right that we don't have time to take the new guy by the hand and lead them through the steps.  It's a lot easier to stand in the crowd with our cohorts and slam the new guys that are trying to work this deal than it is to get in the trench. 

You know what I have noticed, the middle of the road guys, really seem to enjoy pontification.  They are always trying to convince everyone else that they are right. Taking shots whenever the little new guys are reaching out to other people. Oh, you shouldn't listen to him he has only been sober for a few weeks.

I'm done with that don't come walking up to me after the meeting trying to explain to me that the new comers just need to be quiet and listen for the first 3 months, that we will always be recovering that each of us works his program his way.  I am done with debating this crap. 

I'll be the one with the new guy in the back room explaining that he can get connected to a Power who will change his life forever. That this is a program of action.  That he can recover from this crap and be given the Power to help others!!!

Is that to radical for you? Then perhaps you should find another fellowship cause this is AA buddy. And it don't change just because you haven't taken a drink for a few years...`

God's Plan.

I never understand God's plan.  And that is okay, because after attempting to stay in God's will for a while, I have come to realize that things always work out for the best.  I don't always remember that while I am in the midst of the storm, and sometimes I let that storm carry me into self will.  But thanks to God I usually don't stay there as long as I used to.

Faith is not something I attained by trying.  God showed me what faith was by consistently working out my problems, sometimes in spite of me.  First I had to start taking the right actions regardless of what my mind told me.  Then and only then could I perceive God's perfect grace.

Any thing good in my life or in the life of the people around me is a result of submitting to God's will.  Everything else is a result of human will.

I can't know God's will ahead of time it comes to me in that instant before I act.  I better be connected to Him before that instant happens. 

And I can't see God's plan until it unfolds.  After the fact...  Trusting God isn't so hard.  A dear friend always says "if you can't trust God then just act like a fellow might act if he trusted God".  That has worked for me.

It's about living on principles instead of feelings.  It isn't always easy but it works!!!

Lying doesn't work, stealing doesn't work, anger doesn't work, selfishness doesn't work...

God let me be an actor and play the role you assign.  I don't want to be the Director anymore, cause it just doesn't work...