Grace

God's Grace is unfathomable to me. Yet, it is as real as the air I breathe today. Actually, when I think about it, that is how this new life that has been given to me is, every facet of it. I don't understand it, yet it is so real. I stand amazed in the presence of my Higher Power's omnipotence. Of His complete and perfect Love.. In the midst of my inability to appreciate, to react, to do what is right.. He rescues me from myself time after time...

He gives me the Power to care about the stranger on the street, when I don't really care. The Power to speak the Truth, when I am full of deceit. The Power to love, when I am unlovable, the Power to stand, when I want to run. The Power to be at peace when my brain is in turmoil. The Power to go when I want to stay. The Power to stay when I want to go.

In Him is my being, my essence, my life... I must surrender it daily to Him or live in chaos. Living in chaos leads to destruction for an alcoholic of my type. I must renew my being through time spent with God. I must or suffer the consequences.

A few months ago I would have told you that if I was to drink or use I would die. That is no longer the worst outcome I perceive. Separating myself from the Sunlight of the Spirit, from this Power and from perfect Love. That would be the result. and for me that result would be so much worse than death... I lived that way for 51 years. Or really, the fact is, I died that way for 51 years, I've only been living for a short while...