Giving it away.

I got up and prayed this morning. Read my books and told God "This is your year" do with it as You will. How grandiose is my thinking... It hit me then in my meditation that I can't give God this year, or this month, or this week, or even this day. I am not capable of giving Him a complete hour ahead of time.

What I can do is submit to Him this instant. Now... We read it all the time "That one is God may you find Him NOW!!!" I realize this is what my sponsor means when he says take the next stitch. If I could give it all to Him ahead of time I would then become impatient with the way things are going. I would think I could get there quicker by taking a shortcut in place of a step.

My first sponsor used to say contented sobriety is a journey not a destination. Today I am on that journey. My inability to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him on a permanent basis is really a blessing. I need to make that decision over and over again each day. Why? It improves my conscious contact with God. And that contact is what anchors my actions to the Rock in the midst of storms. It frees me from my arrogance of asking God why?

I no longer have to out perform, out think and outmaneuver the rest of God's kids. I really sucked at that anyway. The next right thing, the next stitch, this I am capable of. Now this is what I call a Happy New Year!!!