Getting Out

Today getting out of myself is the answer to my problems. It's kind of funny, it always was. I always perceived that. Before, I tried to get away from my diseased mind with drugs and alcohol. I tried to turn my mind off. It worked until it stopped working. The results however, were horrendous. I was like a tornado roaring my way through the lives of others, you know the story.

I still need to get away from my sick mind and my selfish thoughts. Now I have been shown that the best way, to get out of myself, to stop the crazy movie playing in my brain, is to simply turn my thoughts and my actions to someone I can help. However, this is impossible for me to do. The good news is my Higher Power, God as I understand Him, can do this through me if I get out of the way.

How did I find this out? How did I get connected to the Creator of the universe? By working the 12 Steps with a sponsor, by seeing how other people did it. Dare I say it again; by coming to the realization that my real, God given purpose is to fit myself to be of maximum service to God and the people about me.

I have friends in the program that struggle so. They are constantly analyzing, thinking, working on their character defects, doing thousands of inventories, countless gratitude lists, studying, lecturing, basically on a treadmill and yet seem absolutely miserable. Some of all of the above is beneficial, (except maybe the thinking) but none of those things of their selves work for me.

This is what works for me every time; sitting down with a suffering addict or alcoholic and going through the work. Doing what God wants me to do. Opening a door, playing with grandchild, smiling when I want to frown, listening when I want to speak, throwing my trash in a can not on the road, little things, things against my natural nature. Not doing any of that to improve myself but doing it because nobody wants what a door slamming, grouchy Grandpa, frowning, overbearing, trash throwing redneck has...

I was not saved from this horrible fate to work on me. I was saved for one reason only, to spread this message, through my actions, through the demonstration of God's Power in my life. To help others. God does not want or need a perfect Jerry. God wants and demands my talents and time to spread the good news that anyone, absolutely anyone can recover from this nightmare and be given the Power to help others.