Faith?

I was talking to a dear friend in the program last night. There is something so incredible and so amazing about what is going on in our lives right now. The realization that God is actually participating daily in my life, is so overwhelming and humbling, I am so very grateful. This is where the rubber meets the road. Elimination of drinking was but a beginning.

The absolute knowledge that The Great Reality lies deep within is a game changer. I never believed this would work. I never believed God would help me. Yet He always did, I just never perceived it. The knowledge that as I look back He was there all along protecting, working things out is amazing. I was so full of arrogance and pride, one minute, self loathing and self pity the next, that I never saw it. My feelings, my desires, my thoughts, my fears dominated my actions. My mind = my disease = EGO.

Without that conscious contact today, without taking the actions, without reaching out, my mind will still take over. But when I do those things something happens called Divine intervention and it is becoming as real to me today as life itself. Here is the strangest part of it all, 5 minutes from now I may not feel or think any of this at all, yet it will still be true.

Maybe that is what faith is, knowing the Truth, regardless of how I feel or what I think. The absolute certainty and knowledge that God is doing for me what I could never do for myself... And maybe that knowledge has nothing to do with my brain, perhaps God has given it to me. I'm still learning...