Old Ideas

Letting go absolutely of my old ideas, seems to be a process not a one time decision. As I grow spiritually, I find more and more of my old ideas must fall to the way side. If I try to hang on to them, it is usually painful. I don't like pain, that is why I came to AA in the first place. I absolutely could not stand the pain of my life any longer. It was so bad, that I was willing to do ANYTHING to get away from it.

The good news is that I am learning to let go of old ideas before the pain becomes to great. As I continue to hit different bottoms, I am becoming more willing to let go quickly. This is spiritual growth for me today. Surrendering my old ideas for a design for living that really works! Realizing that the Power I always needed and desired for living doesn't come from me at all. Yet it is constantly available to me.

I always thought, that the more power and control I had, the happier I could be. Who would have ever thought that surrendering my non-existent power and control could lead to happiness and freedom.

A good friend of mine always asks "How free do you want to be?" Today I know the answer to that question, and more importantly, I know how to achieve it. If I want to be free of something all I have to do is let go... Absolutely!!!

Oh, and the design for living that really works? Dr. Bob knew... Trust God, clean house, and help others... One stitch at a time...

Miracles

Another day and another set of miracles going on around me. Today God has blessed me with the power to perceive them and appreciate them. Thanks God!!!

The world according to Chuck;

This is a quote from "A New Pair of Glasses" by Chuck C. I love it....

"You can live yourself into right thinking, but you cannot think yourself into right living"

This sums up the AA program for me. Just do what I am shown by others in this program to do, do what the book says to do and move on. I didn't believe this would work. But it has.

I don't have to hope for results today, I don't have to pray for outcomes. I just have to "do" and the results are all around me. I see them in you, I see them everywhere, and one day I looked up and my life was pretty much OK...

I am understanding what my sponsor says. I didn't know life could be OK, it could only be perfect or horrible. There was no middle ground.

Here is the really cool thing. I have learned that life is OK whether I think it is, or believe it is, or feel like it is. God is everything or nothing. Today I choose everything...

God's Kids

"He causes the sun to rise on both the evil and the good, He sends rain to the righteous and the unrighteous" God loves all His kids. If I am letting Him demonstrate His power through me, guess I will too. Doesn't leave a whole lot of room for making judgements does it? I am incapable of this kind of true love, guess I better take care of the maintenance of my spiritual condition today and let go absolutely... Think I'll do a freefall with God today.

Looking Around

Been doing some traveling, the more I see different people in different places, the more convinced I become God lives in each and everyone of them. However the ones that realize that fact seem to have more peace. I am finding out that the more I am aware of the presence of God in my life, the more serenity I have. Yet again, it comes back to me out of the Big Book. "When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith." (pg 51)

To overcome fear, I must know God is with me, to deal with anger, I must be able to turn it over to God, to have peace, the knowledge of the presence of God must be instinctive.

How to achieve this? A sponsor, the 12 steps, and ACTION!!! The only way to learn to be dependent on God, not only when I run out of options, but when I am in no dilemma at all, is by taking the actions I have been told to take. I have been shown by all of you guys that this works, now I simply have to (no scratch that) GET TO show others.

Now we are off to go meet some more of God's kids. How cool is that?

TRUTH

God has given me the most precious gift there is. And I didn't even know it was happening. The gift of TRUTH. And the TRUTH is indeed setting me free today. The TRUTH is I am nothing without God. My little plans and designs are just really not that important because today I know that everything is working out according to His plan. This is TRUTH.

His plan has always been working I just didn't perceive it. Today the things I want don't seem to matter as much because I know He will provide what I need. Somehow that has started to change my desires. I can honestly say today I want His plan to unfold in my life. It is so far superior to mine. This is TRUTH.

I know that God only wants the best for me and from me. Yet He seems happy with persistence when my best isn't good enough. This is TRUTH.

I can't make it through this day or any other without the Power of God, the Creator living through me. This is TRUTH.

Thank you God my Father for TRUTH...

Grace

God's Grace is unfathomable to me. Yet, it is as real as the air I breathe today. Actually, when I think about it, that is how this new life that has been given to me is, every facet of it. I don't understand it, yet it is so real. I stand amazed in the presence of my Higher Power's omnipotence. Of His complete and perfect Love.. In the midst of my inability to appreciate, to react, to do what is right.. He rescues me from myself time after time...

He gives me the Power to care about the stranger on the street, when I don't really care. The Power to speak the Truth, when I am full of deceit. The Power to love, when I am unlovable, the Power to stand, when I want to run. The Power to be at peace when my brain is in turmoil. The Power to go when I want to stay. The Power to stay when I want to go.

In Him is my being, my essence, my life... I must surrender it daily to Him or live in chaos. Living in chaos leads to destruction for an alcoholic of my type. I must renew my being through time spent with God. I must or suffer the consequences.

A few months ago I would have told you that if I was to drink or use I would die. That is no longer the worst outcome I perceive. Separating myself from the Sunlight of the Spirit, from this Power and from perfect Love. That would be the result. and for me that result would be so much worse than death... I lived that way for 51 years. Or really, the fact is, I died that way for 51 years, I've only been living for a short while...