Learning

I was talking to a sponsee the other day and this guys name came up in town that I just don't like very much. We were swapping stories and I told him about some trouble I had with this guy several years ago. I didn't think anymore about it. Today my sponsee and I were talking and he has a couple of amends he really doesn't want to make yet. He is working his program though, and the time will come. Anyway, he asked me "did you make amends to that guy we were talking about the other day".

And then it hit me, and I had to answer "No, I haven't." Then I told him "I am going to show you how to do this and that it really works" So now I am praying for this guy, that I don't like much, and waiting for the magic to happen and I know He will put the guy in front of me or make me know it is time and I will do it. My experience with my God is that this will happen sooner rather than later. I don't want to but I will. How do I know?, because my Higher Power always gives me the willingness and the opportunity to make amends.

The point of this story and the point I made to my sponsee, is that this is exactly how the "program" works. I can't see my own crap, but I can see yours. But you guys can see mine every time. And it doesn't matter if you've been sober 3 days, 3 years, or 3 decades it really doesn't matter. It is absolutely a beautiful thing. God in His infinite wisdom figured out a way to use a stupid action I did 30 years ago, and then a stupider action I did 2 weeks ago, by telling war stories, to teach me something I needed to understand yet again, and hopefully, even give me an opportunity to bear witness of His Power, His Love, and His Way of Life.

My God Absolutely Rocks...

Action!

I have noticed if I sit around and think long enough I can watch my ego grow. It can start out by thinking of what I can do for others, with the purest motives, however it always ends up about me. The only time my ego seems to stay relatively in check is when I "do", not when I "think". Do the prayers, do the meditation, call the friend, make the coffee, go to the meeting, work the steps, carry out the trash... You get my drift...

This seems to be right because ACTION, not intentions, thoughts, feelings or beliefs, got me connected to God, and keep me connected to God. And the only way to keep my ego=brain=disease in check is to let my Higher Power do it.

My will is in my brain... God's Will is in my feet... Keep stepping...

God is, I do, it works...

Progress, not perfection. I have used that for a cop out many times. Now I know above all else I will never be perfect. However, I must strive to improve my conscious contact with God. I must remember where I fit in the scheme of things. I must know that my thoughts, my feelings, and my beliefs are not reality, and they are certainly not what needs to be driving my actions. All of these things I must do every day if I am to progress. And one thing I have been taught and I have witnessed in this program is that I am progressing or regressing. Being static is not a possibility for an alcoholic of my type.

As Chuck C. puts it I have two choices today. I can run the show and experience the consequences thereof, or I can let God run the show and experience the consequences thereof. Today I choose option two. I am very grateful to God, the program, and you people for that.

Everything I know about anything...

God is, I do, it works!!!

Packing it in...

I went to a great conference this weekend. It was wonderful. And after all of that I went to my own little group tonight. I saw the Power of God tonight, just as real as it was at the conference. Now don't get me wrong I love the big get togethers. I also love the time we spend sharing this message at our little home group.

I had the privilege of spending some time with my sponsor this weekend. I also had the privilege of sharing with a couple of guys having a hard time getting this deal tonight. Got to live in the solution with some good friends at both places.

I don't know what the point of all this is, except this: No matter where I go, and no matter whats going on, if I go with the thought of loving, comforting, and understanding, rather than the thought of being loved, comforted and understood then my cup absolutely runs over. Its about packing it into the stream of life. I never have to take again. My God will take care of me.

I love you guys!!!

Another Day...

Today is just another day. Right? Just another day? No way! It is all about perception. Today people will die from alcoholism, today people will start their new journey in sobriety, today fortunes will be made and lost. There is something very special about today for me. God gave it to me. Will I surrender my will? Will I humble myself before him? Will I do the next right thing? Will I reach out to other alcoholics and addicts. Will I improve my conscious contact with God as I understand Him? Today is a beautiful thing and for me, just realizing that is another miracle.

Giving it away.

I got up and prayed this morning. Read my books and told God "This is your year" do with it as You will. How grandiose is my thinking... It hit me then in my meditation that I can't give God this year, or this month, or this week, or even this day. I am not capable of giving Him a complete hour ahead of time.

What I can do is submit to Him this instant. Now... We read it all the time "That one is God may you find Him NOW!!!" I realize this is what my sponsor means when he says take the next stitch. If I could give it all to Him ahead of time I would then become impatient with the way things are going. I would think I could get there quicker by taking a shortcut in place of a step.

My first sponsor used to say contented sobriety is a journey not a destination. Today I am on that journey. My inability to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him on a permanent basis is really a blessing. I need to make that decision over and over again each day. Why? It improves my conscious contact with God. And that contact is what anchors my actions to the Rock in the midst of storms. It frees me from my arrogance of asking God why?

I no longer have to out perform, out think and outmaneuver the rest of God's kids. I really sucked at that anyway. The next right thing, the next stitch, this I am capable of. Now this is what I call a Happy New Year!!!