Practice

Last night I went to a meeting. It was great. I was on fire when I left there. I pulled up in front of my house and saw that I had visitors. Immediately I got furious inside and went in the house, where I proceeded to be short and not very pleasant to everyone. I woke up this morning and started doing my prayers and it hit me... What caused me to act that way? I didn't even want to do prayers this morning. It is because I still continue to try to have my way, often. And when I don't get it, I react like a spoiled child.

Misplaced dependencies, I am still depending on external things and circumstances for my peace and serenity, a lot. Complete surrender, yet again. This is what it takes for me. Trying to use my will to stay in a state of submission to God's Will. For only in doing His Will do I find that sense of ease and comfort which I long for. Which I drugged and drank for.

Knowing these things in my brain and living them in my life are not always the same thing. What I must do is practice this behavior to be good at it. Hmm... where have I heard that before? Oh, I know; Practice these principles in all of our affairs...

See you later, I have to go practice...