Hello Everybody,

What has become real to me is God's Magic. The peace, joy, happiness and miracles that happens when I get out of myself and into helping God's kids for free and for fun.

The more I follow that Divine Spark that I can only find in this moment the stronger that Spark becomes.

Lord knows I don't do it perfectly, but God has enough Grace to pour out on even my feeble attempts to do the next right thing.

Sometimes the next right thing is uncomfortable.  But when I take action to do it regardless of how I feel, think or believe, the Magic The miracles happen. 

I know today that my alcoholism and addiction is a blessing not a curse for without them I would have never gotten the connection to the Creator I have today.

"The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God's universe. The central fact in our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves."  (BB Page 25)

Peace,

Jerry

You know anything good that comes out of our mouth, or that we have, or that happens in our life, or with our relationships comes from God. It is only on loan to us. 

Likewise all the negative things are usually a result of self will. God allows us the freedom to experience these things as well, we have to look at them as opportunities to show God's Grace and Love through it all...

Jerry

 

 Good Morning,

 I haven't posted here in 7 years.  But I am thinking of starting again.  God and the program have been very good to me.  Expect to hear more later.

Jerry

God among us...

I sat in a meeting tonight with lots of newcomers.  The topic was from page 24 and 25.  You know first the bad news and then the good news.

I watched the eyes of those people some glazed over yet a spark of hope in some of them.

This is the Power of God as I know it.  We don't save or harm these people.  We create an environment of love and tolerance.  We share the clear message of Hope from the book and then God shows up and takes care of the rest. 

A few people left our meeting with sponsors tonight and/or phone numbers.  All that wanted one left with a book.  Some will come back, some will do the work and ALL of them that do it will have a spiritual awakening, recover and have the Power to help others.

This is how God operates in and among us.  This is our experience.  This is what life is about. This my friends, is how we roll...

If you are not experiencing this then please, get that book in your hand and in your heart.  Take the actions.

"Thus we grow. And so can you, though you be but one man with this book in your hand. We believe and hope it contains all you need to begin.  We now what you are thinking. You are saying to yourself: "I'm jittery and alone I just couldn't do that." But you can. You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power much greater than yourself. To duplicate, with such backing what we have accomplished is only a matter of willingness, patience and labor." (page 163 AA big book)

Peace

Please help!!!

I see people everyday who are living in a "recovered state".  They are happy, joyous and free, helping other people and enjoying life... They are changing the world one person at a time.

And then I see the others... Struggling, fighting one day at a time to stay strong.  I see them losing the battle.  I have watched them die.  I see the pain and suffering created by their disease, not only for themselves but for their families and employers and anyone who cares about them.

What is the difference between these two sets of people?  Doing the real work that is our spiritual program of action or not doing the work...

You can candy coat all of this if you want to, but the fact is that a real alcoholic needs a spiritual awakening, a complete psychic change in order to survive.

Watering down the message to make it attractive will not help... Telling people what our sponsor said will not help...  Going through the Big Book and working with our newcomers, one on one, will change the world.  When we connect with the Creator everything changes.  Nothing else works!!

If you have had this experience then please help us,  WE NEED YOU!!! 

"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past and join us..."

Get Real

"We of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book" Foreword to the First Edition Alcoholics Anonymous----

If you are fighting this disease, if you are trying not to drink one day at a stupid time... Then you have not completed the first 9 steps of our program or have quit working the last three... ...Period! 
 

We have personally seen hundreds of people recover, we have seen miracles... Do not believe the delusion that you are different. Do not believe that it doesn't work just the way it used to.

The problem is that in our egotistical thinking some of us have set ourselves up to be super sponsors. All knowing answer men!!!

Some of us give our sponsees our opinions when asked a question... The answer to every question is in the book. "Let's see what the book says about that" This is what I say and do with these guys...

We have strayed so far in so many of our meetings... AA is not therapy, AA is not therapy, I don't care what you think or what "they told you" AA is spiritual program of action designed to connect you to the Creator... Period...

We don't know what you should do about your ex or about your taxes or your kitty cat... But we can help you get connected to God, who will solve all your problems...

Get a sponsor who sticks to the book, the Big Book, and work the steps from that...

You want to read the 12 and 12... Rock on, just remember the Big Book went through the group conscience of the first 100 recovered alcoholics... The 12 and 12 was written while Bill was under the care of a psychiatrist.... Huge difference... One is opinion, the other inspired by the Creator...

I love you all... But if some of us don't get real, a lot more people are going to die!!!

Jerry

Life today

God continues to reveal Himself to me all the time.  I have never been so humbled and been so blessed as I have the past few days...  God's Power is so real and so strong.  I see It in my brothers and sisters around me.  I hear It come flowing through the speakers at the podium, I see It in the eyes of sincere young men and women who are doing this work...  I feel It in the hugs of old timers and new comers...




Now will I be this aware and sensitive to it everyday, no probably not...  But this program has taught me that my actions need to remain the same, through good times and not so good, because they are all God's time.  I am blessed beyond belief...




God's Grace is sufficient, His Power is unstoppable, His presence is undeniable.




"The Great Fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences that have revolutionized our whole attitude towards life, toward our fellows, and toward God's universe.  The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous.  He has commenced to do those things for us that we could never do for ourselves"  BB pg 25






Peace,


Jerry

Just do it...

Taking the actions "suggested" in the Big Book works.  Every time!!! If this is our experience then why do so many fail to take them on a regular basis?  It is because the true awareness of step one does not remain with us.  When we are driven into the rooms, a lot of us are desperate...  We are willing to do anything to relieve the pain of this disease... But as the pain goes away, the ego rebuilds and we become convinced we are doing a great job at staying sober...


The instant that happens whether 2 weeks in or 2 years in or 20 years in, we try to take back control, demand to have our own way, and the relapse has begun.


The only way I have found to continue to have the step one experience is to work with other alcoholics. It refreshes our step one experience...


I was as recovered on week 3 of this deal as I am today... God removed the obsession to drink and use!!! But I am not cured!!!  The book is very clear on this.  I must help other people I must go out everyday and help God's kids for free and for fun.


It doesn't matter how I feel, what I think, or what I believe... What matters is that I get off of my self centered butt and take some action...


Peace


Jerry

Unchanged

I have been going through some ups and down lately... Nothing major, just changes... Mindy reminds me all of the time, no matter what the problem is the answer is always the same... And it is...


The Solution to my problems big or small, is that conscious contact with God.  It is the absolute certainty we have that our Creator has entered our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous...


The only way I know of to keep that vital connection is take the actions laid out in the Big Book... If we are not doing that on a daily basis then we are not taking care of the maintenance of our spiritual condition and that will result in the loss of our connection to the Creator, our brain will start leading, instead of our God and we will be in real trouble.


Are we doing the "do" things? Stop, pause, turn, ask, help, pray...  If not then why not?  I am recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body... But I am not cured... If I don't take the action the alcoholism will lead me back to those selfish self centered thoughts, the dishonesty, the fear, the resentments and ultimately chaos and doom...


Life can be challenging, but it is never, NEVER bigger than our God...

Trudging...

This spiritual journey has some valleys at times.  Usually, when I am trying to judge the value of something or someone by human standards... By my own will, with my own ego... Sometimes when we won't let go of something it gets pulled away from us...


This is often a painful experience.  The question is what is my reaction going to be.  Will I slip into self pity and remorse, or will I continue to trust my God.


People say that when one door shuts another opens... I don't know if I believe that, but I do know that nothing absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake... I do know that my only choice, my only chance, my only job is to take the actions and keep trudging this road of Happy Destiny...


I have a purpose, it was given to me by the Creator of the Universe.  "Keep on stepping" as a dear friend of mine says....


Just do it...

Control

Just got to go on a great trip...  So glad to be back home...  Came home and immediately, without a thought, started trying to "fix" every one's problems.  I had to hit the pause button... I looked in the book, guess what it said? It opened to page 95 and it said "If he is to find God, the desire must come from within" 


And guess what if we are going to grow and expand our spiritual life, that desire must come from within as well.  I can't make anyone do anything... I need to remember that more... Me trying to control any situation and determine its outcome doesn't work, even though my motives are good...


Seems like I remember that from step 3...  I produce confusion not harmony... Thank you God for showing me that, one more time...


And now I am home, and I am ready to jump in with both feet and be of service to some folks, or do what ever else God wants me to do... Not what I think needs to be done...

The New Year

What will I bring to the New Year?  God will be sure to bring me many opportunities, as long as I am spiritually fit... Therefore I must take the prescribed actions everyday... Steps 10, 11 and 12...

We have lost so many this year to this disease... Will I do my part in 2014?  "Near you alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship" (BB pg 153)  Will I be in the trench or resting on my laurels?  Why has God poured His Grace upon me?  Will I carry this message?  Will you?

As I look forward to the New Year I think the most fitting thing I can do today is to say this prayer, and to repeat it each and everyday, until it becomes part of my innermost being, part of my everyday actions... May I depend on God to make those changes, may I seek His will each and everyday...

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me bring love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be comforted as to comfort;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

 

God bless each and everyone of you today and all through the New Year...

Love

The drunk sipping out of his bottle behind the store, the homeless woman on the street corner, the hungry children in a run down apartment parking lot, the addict detoxing in the jail cell, the wife at home, worrying herself to death over her wandering mate, the businessman with all of the material things, dying on the inside because he cannot stop drinking, the inmate in the prison, anguishing over his children, his hopeless children feeling abandoned by their father, the crack head with the burning lips, the junkie with the tore up arms... 

What will I do to bring comfort to these at Christmas, and the rest of the year as well?  Am I so wrapped up in my things, my family, my little plans and designs that I have no time for them? After all God has given me, will I turn and give to another...

Alcoholics and addicts are dying needlessly around us by the thousands while we live our selfish and self-centered lives.  If each of us would only try to help one person, man or woman, parent or child, what a difference could be made...  In some small way, with some bit of kindness, God could change our own little piece of the world.

Helping one another in Love... This is what Christmas and every other day of the year is about...

If we give we will find... If we help we will be helped... If we love we will be loved...  We were created to be dependent on the Creator.  If we ask Him in our morning meditation He will show us what to do... If we ask Him how we can help, He will give us the opportunity to be of service...

This is how we grow, this is how we learn, this is how we demonstrate God's Power. 

Ladies and gentlemen, this is how we roll...

God bless you all,

Acting

Acting my way into a conscious awareness of the presence of my Creator seemed to me at first to be not only hypocritical, but also about the stupidest thing I had ever heard.  But I had no choice.  I was beaten down by alcohol, my options were all gone.  I did not have a plan left.

I had been through the first step.  I knew I had no control, no choice, and no power.  All I had was this old recovered alcoholic telling me to get on my knees and do the 3rd step prayer with him.  I didn't want to, I didn't believe it would work, I sure didn't feel like doing it.

But I did it anyway, it felt like it didn't change a thing, I didn't believe anything was different.  He told me to do it every morning, on my knees.  I thought it was stupid and I told him so.  He told me pray it to the wall, just do it.  I did...

I also took other actions he told me to take, inventories, lists, amends and the like.  Something happened in the midst of doing all those things I didn't want to do.  I became aware that the obsession to drink and use was gone... And I became aware of something else, the conscious presence of my Creator...

By simply taking actions I didn't want to take, my life has been changed completely and forever.  Not because I am special, but because God is...

So if you don't feel joyful and thankful this season, then try acting joyful and thankful and you will be soon enough...

If your fears and worries are crowding peace and serenity out of your life.  Then just act like your God is big enough to handle anything. He is...

All we really need, is to heed spark of that spark of the Divine which is in each and everyone of us, for it to burst into a flame which will keep you warm and fulfilled, in the midst of the wildest storm. More importantly it will spread to the people you seek to help and heal them as well...

This is my hope and prayer for all of you, my friends, in this Christmas season, that you humble yourself before your Creator and acknowledge that without Him you are nothing... That simple act of humility will give Him room to work in your heart and mind and accomplish for you what you cannot do for yourself...

I leave you with the prayer...

"God, I offer myself to the to build with me and do with me as Thou wilt.  Relieve me of the bondage of self , that I may better do Thy will.  Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.  May I do Thy will always!"

Peace and Grace...

Attitude

During these short gray cold winter days many of us start to hibernate.  For people of our type this is not always a good thing.... Why go that meeting, its cold and I am tired?  I have a cold and don't feel like talking to this guy...  Its all about my attitude... I was talking to my sponsor yesterday and we were talking about the camaraderie in some of our meetings with it freezing outside and the coffee pot going and everyone joined in one place for one purpose...  Today, I go out amongst my people and share my hope and am always the better for it...

I was taught a new definition of attitude... It is "angle of approach"... How am I approaching my fellows, with a smile or with a sour frown? How am I approaching my Creator, with joy and thankfulness or with self interest and self pity.

This disease doesn't take a day off.  And I can't afford to, and besides it is no fun being wrapped up in my own brain anyway...

I am grateful today. So I need to go and show it.  Slap a smile on and go help God's kids for free and for fun...

Trust

God is everything or He is nothing!  What is my choice today?  If I find myself in fear and trying to control a situation, you can bet I am not trusting God...  If I am in fear over a loved one, my checkbook, my job, anything at all it is because I have predetermined what the outcome needs to be.

In other words I am playing God... Not trusting God, playing God... This is simply a resurgence of the ego... And for me this is deadly... I can run from task to task and deny it.  I can stay constantly on the move "helping others" and ignore it.  But at some point I have to face it...

Step 1  Do I really believe my life is unmanageable by me?

Step 2  Do I believe there is a Power greater than me that will solve my problem?

Step 3  Am I suffering from the delusion that all would be well if only I manage better?  Am I trying to control the situation to insure the outcome I want, or am I trusting God that the outcome will be what I need.

I must take these actions, I must look at my part.  If I don't pretty soon I will have taken back over completely and I will be trying to stay sober on my own power... My experience has shown me, that does not work...

How about yours?

If my fear and expectations are rising my ego is just ahead of both of them... That is a bad place to be...

THE Program

The "we" in the Big Book is the first one hundred recovered alcoholics. My job is not to show new comers what I did... It is to show newcomers what the first one hundred did...

This is a big mistake we make.  "If you want what I have, then do what I did"  We say that with good intentions sometimes.  I have said it myself. When you look at that statement, it sounds pretty arrogant. We need to always take it back to the book. In this way errors don't get multiplied.

The more proper statement is possibly; "If you want to be happy, joyous, and free, if you want to be recovered, then let me show you this program of action in the book.  I followed IT and it happened for me.  I will show you how to follow IT and it will happen to you.

It is like cutting boards for a fence.  If you use each board as a marker for the next, the measurement gets off.  But if you always go back to the ruler then the boards are consistent.  And if you always go back to the book the message is consistent.

Can I share my experience around that? Absolutely!. But the path they must go down for recovery is the path laid out in the Big Book...

What I have is a Gift from God... It is called the Grace...  It is called Sobriety... It is a result of conscious contact with God, as a result of working THE PROGRAM of AA... Not my sponsor's program, not my program, but THE PROGRAM...

My sponsor says it all the time; Everybody wants to take shots, that's not what my sponsor said, that's not what my therapist said, that's not what I did.......  But it is what the BIG BOOK says...  Not much else matters for a REAL alcoholic...

Next, Launch, Vigorous...

I have heard in a lot of meetings that anything worth doing takes time. My experience after working with a lot of people is that usually people that take the steps slowly, never finish them...

Read the Book, it does not say stop and make sure you or your sponsor thinks you are ready. It says "Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action..." 

It tells me after step 5 to spend an HOUR reviewing the first 5 steps and make sure I was thorough... AA is not therapy, the steps are not therapy, the longer I take on them does not mean I am doing them better. 

This is about surrender, removing blockage, and asking God to remove my shortcomings, taking the actions to get my daily reprieve while I am cleaning up my past, and then jumping out there and helping the next person...

If a real alcoholic does not do this quickly they are playing with fire... The ego rebuilds and they think they can stay sober on their own... That is my experience...

First things First

I hear people all of the time talking about learning wisdom, about trying to be more humble, about trying to be grateful, about learning acceptance.

Wisdom, humility, gratitude, and acceptance cannot be learned.  They cannot be worked on. They cannot be sought directly with success.

These things are brought about as a result of having a daily conscious contact with God.  This happens as a result of working and living the 12 steps.

I can try my hardest to be "better".  I can make myself notes, recite endless mantras, read countless books, do positive affirmations till I am blue in the face, but it will all be to no avail until I surrender and take the action of working the 12 steps.

Somewhere in that process God "shows up" and my life is changed forever... All that is required is that I continue to do those things required to maintain that spiritual connection...

Wisdom, humility, gratitude, and acceptance are gifts of God's grace...  I cannot earn them.  I cannot attain them... They are a natural outflowing of God's Spirit within me...

My human attempts to achieve them and control them, only lead to me blocking them by seeking the Fruit of the Spirit, instead of the Spirit itself...

Producing Confusion

I sat in an "AA" meeting today and heard everything but solution.  I heard about therapy, and feelings, and the "power" of our drunkalogs.  I heard about crappy weeks and just not drinking between meetings.  I heard about having to find a meeting to get plugged into God.  I can't do that I need to stay plugged in all the time and sometimes there aren't any meetings at 3:00 am. 

And then it dawned on me.  I have three meetings a week where I can hear nothing but solution, I have a couple of more where there is some hope shared.  Why am I sitting in this meeting anyway.

So I determined for me and just for me.  That I will no longer participate in those meetings, I will no longer contribute to this style of AA.  What I will do is redouble my efforts to be at all of the meetings I can, where the solution is being offered. To contribute my time and energy to those places. To steer the still suffering alcoholics God puts in my path to a place where they can hear the truth...  Not the truth according to me, but the truth in the first 164 pages of the big book...

A solitary voice or two cannot compete with the clamor of "easier softer ways" within the ears of a newcomer.  I must no longer allow the clear message of hope I carry to be watered down day after day by a group of people who can stay sober by just attending a lot of meetings.  Obviously, the vast majority of those people are not afflicted as I am afflicted. 

What I am doing when I am in a meeting like that is producing confusion... I am trying to get people to change their way of thinking.  It isn't going to happen...  Let the middle of the road feelings people have their meeting... I have to cease fighting anything or anyone...  And they always want to attack after you share truth. 

God has given me the opportunity to be a part of a place where a real alcoholic can come and get  the real message of hope... I must do my part in that...

I need to be with my brothers and sisters the real alcoholics who are going to die if they don't find this way of life...  And the ones who are so happy, joyous, and free when they do...